ugh.

Its been a hard week for me. First of all, I started WW on Monday but I actually join tonight with a group of ladies...I am really motivated again and anytime I am thinking about cheating I tell myself "I am in control"...thats all I lack. Is self control. Its not like I am a huge eater or eat, eat, eat but I do eat the wrong things when I do eat. It takes some planning and being prepared for situations. Anyhow, I just really wanna do this..(again).

Tuesday, I had a mental breakdown. I overhead 2 staff bashing me...and I confronted them about it...I didn't appreciate it at all. I was really hurt as this is a staff who I have done nothing but advocate for her. I mean, I really have pushed for stuff for her (sick days, mental health days, etc) I was just shocked...hurt. I left work in tears and broke down in my car...then realized that I left my purse in the centre (lol) and had to go back in. I'm not a crier..but I do get hurt feelings especially when I have done nothing but invest tears, blood and sweat into the centre. And to hear how she talked about me, was a real shocker. I told her to talk about me, bitch about me...but just remember what I have done for her...I was So so so upset...I let work early...Then Wednesday, Kennedy had an appt and I didn't want to go to work in the morning for only a few hours...so I told them that I wouldn't be in...I had a nice day off. Her appt was super good. She had a test Pulm Lung Function test done and what the do is get her to breathe fast into the machines and stuff and go from there...then they give them ventolin and see if it improves but the R.T said that because her lungs are already in such good shape (yeah!) there was no difference in the output...he said normally developing lungs for an 8 year old child...wowzers! But she said that she has been having issues with her breathing being tight in gym class and outside runing around...again, I think it is her asthma. Her puffer is low at school so I will be sending new ones there. For pulmacourt she got a turbo inhaler. Its soooo nice not doing the nebulizer every time. The inhalhers have been so much easier and better :o)

Today, I am leaving at 2:30pm. I have a roast and potatoes and veggies all ready to go. I just have to put it in the oven. Love that. I love Thursdays when its early days! Also, Kennedys new Catholic School next year will be getting out at noon on Thursdays so I might just not even bother working Thursdays in the fall.

I keep dreaming about the fun in summer with the kids. I just can't wait! Only 2.5 months left of working...yeah!!!!

Tonight I will weigh in..how depressing is that...I always look back at my old WW book and wow...did I get my wieght down fast...and low...I would be sooo happy to go back to that weight...and pull the tote of small clothes out again...and put the fat ones away (again!)

I have been walking every night too. It has been helping me...when I get stressed out or 'down' I just make sure to get out and walk....makes a world of difference...

Well I better go...only 25mins more of work!!!!

Tara