update....-

Well life is still hectic. On Wenesday morning Kennedy woke up with tummy pains. This is not something new for us, as she has chronic tummy pains and especially in the mornings. So she continued on with her regular routine of getting ready in the morning but the more she moved around the more she was in pain. Like pain-pain. I (of course) said that she can stay home for the morning and we will see how she is doing by the afternoon. So I packed her up and off we went to the daycare. She didn't look well so I assumed that she had a flu. So, I made her a bed at the daycare and I went on with my work there. She slept and played her ds. By 11am she felt like she would be able to do lunch. So she ate her thermos of lunch and quickly puked it up. While she was up and about she was doubled over in pain, crying. I got her to lay down, and she slept again. She woke up at 2pm and felt hungry and had a handful of peas in a pod. Fast, she threw them up again. She was walking to the bathroom to puke but wasn't even able to walk as she was in SO much pain. We went to the bathroom and I noticed TMI her puke was pure bile. I called the CF clinic and luckily it was clinic day so they got us in. We headed over to the U of A and saw our doctor who immediately said he was admitting her. There was no beds, so he sent us to emergency. We got to emerg, along with the CF nurse. We got checked in, saw the doctor who said she was just constipated and ordered an enema. He waved off the lump that concerned our doctor and the fact it was unreal pain for her. However in a hospital bed, not moving too much she was fine. She had soup, and kept it down. So they let us out (after the one enema) on our way out the door...the pain began from walking...the doctor saw this and stopped us and said that he would like to do another enema. So we did that. Nothing passed. It didn't do anything. We finally left. We went to bed at 11pm and Kennedy woke me up and 4am complaining about her tummy and said she 'felt like crap'. So I got up with her, got her settled into bed again. 4:30am I could hear her puking in the bathroom. She was in so much pain. Fabe couldn't believe the pain she was in. We made her a bath at 5:30am to try to help the pain. She was puking so much and screaming in pain. I left a message for the CF staff again. They called at 9am (after hours of pain and puking) and they were SO mad that we even got sent home. Our cf dr called me, and heard her in the background. He said that she has an obstruction and to get back to emerg and he was going to walk down there himself and tell them she needs to be treated. So we went there again...we got there at 9:30am. We SAT in emerg for hours and hours...she was in pain and puking there but a little with resting in bed. She slept on and off. Finally we had an ultrasound...and then sat again down in emerg. It was brutal!!!!! At 5:30pm they did an IV. Then at 10:30pm they said that she has 400 mls of this drink to drink every hour. I was SO pissed off that they wanted us to start this NOW at this time of night after sitting there ALL day doing nothing. I was soooooo mad. She drank the first glass and puked it up. Her pain was totally increasing. They finally ended up attemping to put an NG tube in. She was FREAKING out, and they stuck it into her lung. It was HORRIBLE to see this. She was trying to breathe and choking and coughing..it was sooooooooooo horrible. They took it out and left us for a while longer. At midnight they came in with another nurse who put it in and she was great and gentle and took the time to talk to Kennedy and calm her down. It went in and the fluid began going in. But her pain was just unreal. She was so tired. She would fall fast asleep and then wake up 7-9 mins later in pain. It was like contractions. It was brutal. This went on, and I requested pain meds....they came in with liquid tylenol. I was like 'what will this do for her? she is in extreme pain!!" Soon 4 am came (24 hours up for the both of us!) and she was done. She was saying things like "I don't think I will make it mommy!" and stuff like that...she was in soooooo much pain. Finally I went out to the dr and told him to give her something...he said he would look into it. Another hour went by and he knew full well that she was in so much pain as his desk was right outside of our room. I went out there, bawling....and told him that I was going to loose it. I told him, that no one should have to undertake that amount of pain and not have anything for it. I told him she is puking non stop and that the tylenol would do nothing for her anyhow. Finally, I told him to get her something now. The nurse came in with Morphene by her IV. It knocked her rightout....we slept from 5:30am-7:45am until they moved us upstairs. Up there, we couldn't sleep either as the nurses on the ward did the admission forms and then the dr's came in and blah blah blah. I was soooooo done. She passed some small amount of 'stuff' but the pain remained a little bit but NOTHING like before. I think the pain meds helped her bowel to relax as well. My dr had already consulted surgery to see us, thank GOD we didn't have to do that. I thought for sure we were going to have too, as it was 'that' bad. I have never seen her (or any other child) in that much pain. And Kennedy has a high pain tolerance. She lives with tummy pains all of the time. It takes ALOT for her to be 'sick'. Cf has never kept her down....ever.

We choose to leave Friday night. They told us a few days in there, but once things started to pass we signed out early.

Saturday my sister was down. But I went shopping for the day with a friend. I needed to buy some Christmas stuff and some clothing. I miss my Christmas stuff so bad. I had all of the "Baby's First Christmas" and stuff from when I was little. I had beautiful stuff for Christmas. I prided on my stuff. Actually I miss my kitchen stuff too, alot. There is just so much that I miss. Shopping was really hard on me. Again, something that I use to enjoy. But it was so hard. Every item reminded me of the things that we had. Sure, its things that can be replaced. But even the feeling I got from those things, seeing those things or the smell of those things. I never realized that I loved my house so much. The other day, I walked through the house. It really really depressed me and I haven't been back there since...about a week ago now. I went upstairs to all of the rooms...it is just so sad. I was in my room and I just thought that if that lady wasn't with me, I would love to crawl into my bed and get under those blankets and just enjoy the feeling of 'home'. The feeling of trusting the house...feeling totally safe in there. I was thinking about when we first built that house. It took me about 2-3 years to get past the feeling of being scared in there. And it was a huge milestone being able to stay there while Fabe was in training in Calgary and then again in Salt Lake City. It will take me a long time to be use to this house....then we will move back over there then I have to trust a house again...this is years of my life. I've now been a victim of a break in (while home) and now a house fire (while home). I use to not be able to sleep due to scared of someone breaking in...but now I'll be scared of that and a fire. I meet stupid odds, I really do. We are doing okay. The kids are adjusting well now. I think I am okay. Today I thought about the pictures that I dont have from camping this summer. What a waste on scrapbooks. I had to peel pictures out of my pretty scrapbook pages of the kids...they are cut to suit certain pages but now they are just pictures. At least I have them, I know...but its a tiny pile...compared. I went to Old Navy to buy some clothes tonight and saw Micheals store. A place I use to love and loooooved walking about in there thinking about the scrapbook stuff. I had recently bought a whole bunch of the things there for scrapbooking as I knew that I would be at home and more time to do it. I lost ALL of my books too...I had a pretty good collection of them.

Anyhow, I think that I am doing okay. I have been working on the daycare lots now....and its looking really great. Its very nice. We are very very close of being all done. Come January we will be busy with that. We have so much to do...everyday we figure out something else that we need to buy. At least I have more then 3 pairs of pants now.

Tomorrow night Kennedy and I are going to see Carrie Underwood. I'm very happy we did this. We both really need a night away to enjoy. Not a night of shopping and doing running around...

Mack had his 12th birthday party sleepover Friday night...I at least got to be there for a while. He had a great time...

Anyhow, thats the update for now...hopefully there is no issue with blogger to post it as its a HUGE update...

And thank you so very very very very much to every single of one of you...you have given of yourselves to us....in this time of need. I'm not a good taker, at all. I don't like to take help. I like to help. Its been very hard for me to accept help...but thank you for you who have given (material things) or given (supportive). It means so very much...I don't know what I would have without you guys!!! So thank you again....100000000 times...