Hey, I'm Cfmommy!

I hope you will enjoy my blog! Come back often, and I LOVE comments :o))))

Friday, November 07, 2008

Today was a bad day :o(

Today I had a really bad day. The morning was fine and good...but once I went to the house...our house...I was so sad. I just wanted to be there so badly. I saw some totes in the garage and I was so happy. I got permission from the supervisor (on the phone) to go into the garage and see the totes. I almost died when I saw Kennedys scrapbook all melted together...as one big hard lump. It was sooooo sad. I almost died. Then it only got worse when there was Mack's albums sitting in totes full of water. WATER! They did nothing but totally reassure me that MY pictures will be their TOP priority. I was so sad and mad. All of my albums are trashed. I bawled. It was soooooo upsetting. I held hope in those albums down in the basement but I didn't know that they would actually be burnt. We did manage to get some photos out of there...thankfully. Some of Kennedy's baby pics. But her NICU album...the ONLY pics I have of her first month of life was really soaked and bad. Its horrible having no control of your stuff. Then a guy on site, some 20-something year old told me 'you can't be here!" and I was taken back. I told him I spoke to Mike and he okay'd it. Actually, he okay'd it for us to enter into the house...as the floor was stabalized finally. But we didn't even make it that far. I started to load up the totes and a lady (working there) came over and told me I can't take anything from the house. I told her that I'm not going to have my pictures sitting there...soaking in totes full of water...and I will take them and dry them out myself. Then some guy, comes over to me...he was the site supervisor...and told me that they take the most care for pictures. I was confused...how do you claim to take such good care of photos when they are SITTING in water!!!??? I don't care about ANYthing else in the house...pictures. Thats all that I want. PICTURES! Then he said 'do you want my help or not?" I said 'no, I will do it myself!" and loaded them up. Then he came over and said "you know, we had a fire at a school-thats why we didn't get to your pictures yet!" I was so pissed off. A fire at a school...OVERNIGHT...a friggin portable. BIIIIG damn fricken deal. 400,000 damage. Wow, big crappen deal. Your telling *me* this? Like I shouldn't care about my life possessions? I should care about a stupid school portable. Sorry-not likely. My neighbors Rachel and Jennifer saw me so upset. I was telling them about it and the first little jerk guy...slammed his tool down and said "you know, can you stop nagging already?" I started BAWLING. My neighbors were taken back. I told him, you know I am not even talking to you and I am angry! I'm venting to my neighbors and not you! and he said "well God, shut up already!" I just wanted to hop the fence and slap his childish little face. I am ANGRY. I'm a BITCH. I told him maybe he should consider another job where he doesn't need to have compassion. I told him my house is gone and everything in it. Sorry, I don't agree with his crew raking the grass or sweeping the driveway...pick through my DAMN pictures and make themselves useful. Then he piped up and pointed to my face "do you know that I was here until 9pm the other night taking out 4 boxes of pictures for you?" My neighbor said "did you get paid for that?" and he said "yeah" she said "well then don't act like you are doing anyone a favor. thats your job...fire and water restoration!" and he said something else...HAD to have the last word. I finally said..your kidding me..your arguing with me..you saw the inside of my house...you know that we have NOTHING left and your sitting here trying to argue with me? Nice. It was a bad bad day. I was to the point that if they weren't going to go in, I would. But it would kill me. Fabe went upstairs today and said its really really bad. We didn't think it was 'that' bad. But he said "Tara, its really bad!" and took pics with his cell phone. I don't want to bother. I don't want to even look in there. I stood in the living room today and it was horrible. Just devastating. I keep asking myself if this is real? I can't believe that my house is burnt down. Soon, they will just bulldoze it. My baby. My everything. What I would give to crawl into that bed. Or sit down and scrapbook in my room. How I had it so organzied and set up. All of the hours that I enjoyed scrapbooking. Its just so so sad. I dont' know if I will scrapbook anymore. Honestly. It feels like this pit in my stomach will never let up. I can't look back to the blog of house stuff. It will break my heart and its already broken. My mom called in the midst of this all. She knew that I was bawling...she came over. She saw the burnt stack of pictures...she saw the unidentifiable things...things that I don't even know what they are or where they came from. Just moulds of plastic melted together.

Today I got a great package...it had lunch kits. It made me cry even seeing those. The kids have been taking Walmart bags! And Freezer packs! Just perfect!!!! The kids were super happy! Everyone has been great. Yesturday they got some gift cards for their favorite stores. Makes me feel happy that people have thought about what they like...thank you to all...honestly. Stuff is nice, but thoughts are great too! I'm happy to think that they will have clothing in their closets now...and posters for their walls...lunchkits for their lunches..Kennedy had 18 Webkins from her last hospital stay in June...only 5 months ago was she in there. And I thought about how horrible life was back then...stuck in the U of A for 2 weeks. That was horrible enough...but still this is nothing compared to that. What a bad year it has been for us. Really...I'm going to be happy to get rid of this year....Kennedy was so sick...then the unplanned pregnancy, then losing the baby, then the fire..so much in only 5 months. Then I wonder, what did I do to deserve this? Why me? Why us? I try to be a good person, I really do. I hurt when people are hurting...I am sad when people are sad...I really try to help people when I can. I dont get it. Why me....

Anyhow, tomorrow we are suppose to get furniture...we'll see. I'm worried about sleeping in a house. But I will be happy to get out of here!!! the kids seem better...they are scared though too. I guess time will tell.

4 comments:

Jane said...

Those guys were heartless jerks Tara - I'm so sorry you had to go through that :(

Yesterday is over - today is a new day! I hope its a better one for you!

Kylie's Mom said...

That's horrible...I'm so sorry that the restoration guys were complete jerks.

You know, restoration companies compete to get preferred status with insurance companies...so that they get more jobs. I hope you let your adjustor know what a piss head that guy was, there's no reason for that. And you're right, he should change jobs to one where he doesn't need any compassion. Jerk.

Cheerios_Addict said...

How heart wrenching it must have been to see your beloved things reduced to unidentifiable lumps and then to have that callous ass of a man act like such a jerk! :(

D said...

I have been thinking of you and your family and I hope you are having a better week.