Friday.

I use to be so happy whenever Friday came around. This weekend is not going to be a happy one...we will try to keep ourselves busy. We have the keys to the house already but since we don't have any furniture yet we cannot move in. Its so annoying. We are stuck in this stupid hotel room. Its a room (tiny) with 2 double beds. All it has is a bar fridge. We have to live out of this room. Making the kid's lunches is not easy with only a tiny fridge to store stuff. I keep forget to buy some freezer packs. And the poor kids are using Walmart bags for lunchkits. I feel so sad for them. Ugh. I drove by the house last night. I worked at the daycare all day on trying to get that up and done...so much to do there too. We are hoping to have it all finished painting this weekend. We have too. Our goal is to open Jan 1st so there is SO much to do...and buy. Our house, its so sad going there. I bawled uncontrollably while I was there last night. Bandit knows our street and he was soooo happy to be going 'home' but when he jumped out of the car and couldn't get into the area, as the fence is all the way around the property. It was sad. He just wants more then anything too, to be at home. The feeling is so horrible. Like a death. Something you constantly think about and miss. Just the things that we took for granted. The feeling of pulling into the garage and walking in the front door...feeling like 'ahhhh, I'm home'. Or the warmth of the fireplace burning in the livingroom. Just so much. I hate this feeling. Buts its a horrible one, feeling like all of your most important belongings are gone. Things you worked so hard to buy, things you thought about 'should we buy it?" we JUST bought our new bedroom furniture only a few months ago. We finally finished the bedroom. And it looked so good. Painting my house was a horrible chore..but it was so worth it. I was so proud of my accomplishment and it was something we have been saying for so long that we needed to do, and I finally did it. I picked each color...3 different colors. Ugh.

Today the carpets are getting cleaned at the new rental house. Its a beautiful house too. And it will be fine. Its very secure. But not a fenced backyard...and an alley runs back there. I will be anxious about that. But once it snows and I can see footprints I will feel better. But its has security cameras and motion detectors that tell you if/when something is back there. So it should be okay. Its a home. We are frusterated that our stuff could be possibly saved and no one is taking it out!!! They were working on making the basement beans safer as they all burnt and the kitchen floor and hallway is very unsafe....a fire fighter fell through. We have a HUGE hole in the middle of our kitchen....therefore that house is off limits to anyone until the floor is more safe to walk on. Then they said they will take out what they can. I am soooo worried about my photoalbums and scrapbooks. I miss scrapbooking so much. I only finally bought the Cricut a few weeks ago...only used it 2 times since all the stuff going on prior to the fire was going on. But I had a few pages gone up, of our trip to Canmore and stuff like that done. I can't believe my pictures and albums might be all gone. They did take out a few from the living room...but thats all. Even our wedding picture was really damaged. I know things can only get better from here but I don't see an end in sight. I always have a feeling of saddness. I always feel so down. I hardly take calls anymore. I can't bear to talk to anyone. I break down too much.

Yesturday, some wonderful people gave us stuff. Its amazing how much people come together in times like this. Especially people that dont really know you. Giving things, sending a daily message to say they are thinking of you, cards, etc....its wonderful to know. 5 days ago we lost everything that meant anything to us...and peoples lives goes on...but ours has done nothing but stand still...I hope to be happy again...